Enter the Wu-Tang Enneagram: A Guide for Parents

The Enneagram is the new cool kid as it pertains to tools for helping people understand their personality types. The Myers-Briggs reign of terror is over, and the Holtzman Inkblot Technique is but a fading dot on the landscape of self-understanding.

A fast and dirty sketch of the Enneagram (that Enneagram enthusiasts will find wholly inadequate) is that it consists of nine interconnected personality types, each of which have healthy and unhealthy manifestations. While it’s a model that has gained popularity of late, its origins are attributed to the 4th century workings of Christian mystic Evagrius Ponticus. Only in the 1950’s did Oscar Ichazo begin working up the modern Enneagram that is all the rage today.

After a period of skepticism about the model, due in no small part to how people that get into the Enneagram get REALLY into the Enneagram, I eventually took a peek around and discovered it to be a helpful tool for self-understanding. It’s been formative in my reflections on why I parent the way I do, and what I need to incorporate into my life to become a healthier parent.

What the Enneagram could really use, however, is a culture translator. Download your favorite Enneagram podcast, and pretty much all of the people interviewed fit within a specific socio-economic profile. Thomas Condon has put together a diverse list of famous people’s Ennegram types, but his list is not the norm. Most are whiter than the US Senate, with people of color such as MLK, Jesus and a couple of athletes sprinkled about for good measure.

In presenting the following Enneagram outline, I understand that I’m speaking to a tiny island in the middle of a Venn diagram that includes fans of hip-hop who are parents interested in modern applications of ancient Christian mysticism. The whole thing started as a throw-away joke for a podcast promo I made that got stuck in my head. The only way to free mind squatters like this is to put them down on the page and feed them to the internet. So here we are.

Because the Enneagram’s personality types are interrelated, it makes sense to find rappers who are interrelated. It just so happens that perhaps the greatest rap group of all time includes enough members to pull this off. With seven studio albums, 19 compilation albums, and nearly 70 solo albums spanning 25 years, there’s plenty of content to bring da ruckus on an Enneagram outline, a scripted Hulu series, and a Showtime documentary.

Type 1 — The Reformer — RZA

Rza’s quest to be right and achieve great success have made it possible for him to triumph in different arenas. With an extraordinary attention to detail, he’s produced the majority of the songs for a wildly successful 10-member rap group while plotting a strategy for world domination. A get-it-done person, RZA also demands from others that tasks are done to a high standard.

Parenting Connection: You’re the parent who can maintain a busy family schedule, complete with weekly meal plans. You don’t just make sure things happen, you make sure they happen well. While this can keep the family running efficiently, it can also push kids away if you don’t moderate your criticism.

Type 2 — The Helper — Cappadonna

Cappadona quietly ties songs together with his ability to step into a track and deliver solid albeit unremarkable verses that provide exactly what the record needs in order to slap. He is such a good helper that even though he wasn’t part of the original crew, they decided he was worth bringing on board (despite the fact that his addition pushed the size of the group to double digits).

Parenting Connection: You always know what’s really up with your kids’ needs. Dependable and consistently present, you can get so focused on others that you lose yourself and and allow relationships to devolve into enmeshment and codependency if you don’t keep healthy boundaries.

Type 3 — The Achiever — Raekwon

‘Kwon is always aware of his image , and focused on success. He’s the best dresser in the group, has had solid individual commercial success and was able to step on a track with vintage OutKast and absolutely crush it.

Parenting Connection: You can show your kids that it’s possible to grind out success, improve yourself and show commitment to the opportunities you have. If you project your focus on success too brightly on your kids, it could cause them to shrink away because striving for perfection and living up to your expectations is too much for them.

Type 4 — The Individualist — Ghostface Killah

A mighty healthy 4 can become a good storyteller or a poet. The ability to express feelings in a powerful way allows others to enter into your experience. However, the inconvenient reality of feelings is that not all of them are positive, so it’s easy to get sucked into depressive cycles and isolationist habits. This definitely sounds like the guy for whom Trackstar the DJ of Run the Jewels fame would make an hour long mixtape called “Ghost Stories: Ghostface Killa’s Storytelling Raps.”

Parenting Connection: Dads have the opportunity to model the counter-cultural trait of male emotional vulnerability. Your ability to see and tell stories can also give family members a strong vision for what it means to be empathetic with each other. Just be careful to monitor your mental health, especially if you sense yourself getting too up in your feelings or driving into depression.

Type 5 — The Investigator/Thinker — GZA

GZA personifies multi-disciplinary mastery. He is the deepest rapper of the bunch, has the best individual album (it’s a matter of fact, not opinion), and is the only rapper who has a science show on Netflix. GZA doesn’t just dabble in interests outside of rap, he immerses himself until he’s the best at what he does.

Parenting Connection: You can usually answer your kids’ questions, and when you can’t you know how to find the answer. You can be a good teacher and a good guide, but it’s crucial to get outside of your own head on a regular basis so you can feel emotion and keep from shadowboxin’ with yourself as you retreat into the confines of your own mind.

Type 6 — The Loyalist — Masta Killa

It’s tough to put all that comes with being a Loyalist on someone, because descriptions of the type are dominated by unhealthy ways people deal with the fear that drives their life. Masta Killah appears to have threaded the needle by responding to fear in a way that works for both him and others. His Loyalty is Royalty album took for-ev-ah to drop (procrastination/hesitation/caution being characteristics of the type), as a vegan he is comfortable with strict limits on himself, and he clearly articulates why it’s important to embody loyalty.

Parenting Connection: You have a lot going on so do what you need to do, but don’t do it in a way that makes your kids an anxious mess. Utilize self care to help yourself feel safe. If you aren’t laughing much, you’re probably holding in all kinds of tension and stress that are grounded in fear. Breathe, talk, reflect, keep from withdrawing, and utilize therapy even if you find it a hard thing to buy into. A lot of your energy needs to be put into building trust.

Type 7 — Enthusiast — ODB

Truly a son unique, Dirty ramped up the wattage in any room he entered. Always excited, always moving at speed, and always intoxicated by the next adventure. At the root of this personality type is security, or lack thereof. The same qualities that allowed ODB to breathe life into any track he stepped on are the same ones that would lead to his death at age 35.

Parenting Connection: You’re the fun parent who tends to act more like the fun aunt or uncle so keep in mind that you are the adult in the room. In fact, remember to stay in the room and not chase after every adventurous opportunity that comes your way.

Type 8 — The Challenger — Method Man

Where ODB felt larger than life, Method Man sometimes feels bigger than the group itself. He’s been the member to float in and out of prominent acting gigs, he tends to tell it like it is, and he can feel set apart when he’s on stage with the Clan. He rarely lacks confidence, except for the rare situation that he can’t quite manage to keep totally in his control like that time he went on Sway and stumbled over some of his lines because he had to read them off his phone.

Parenting Connection — Embrace moderation. Your desire to protect your kids and be there for them is great, it’s just important to dial down the intensity and keep yourself from eclipsing the family in your attempt to love them.

Type 9 Reconciliator — U God and Masta Killah

Masta Killah is a quiet peacemaker, as evidenced by the fact that when he became the last Wu Tang member to drop a solo album and he was able to get every member to appear on it during a time when the group had a high level of discord. For his part, UGod kept heads up behind the scenes as he “dealt with tantrums and mediated other people’s beefs, and he did all the radio promotions and interviews that nobody else wanted to do.” It’s unsurprising that a group of ten strong personalities would require two reconcilers in order to survive 25 years.

Parenting Connection — It’s great that you are an empathetic parent who can see things from the point of view of your kid. And keeping the peace truly is a gift. But remember that you can’t keep everyone happy at all times, and like a 2 you have to guard against neglecting your own needs.

Christian Dashiell writes about parenting, adoption, race and culture. He also co-hosts Imperfect Dads: A Parenting Podcast, and enjoys honing his BBQ Jedi skills.